Costs, Costs of Death, not just Financial. Jill Johnson-Young, Licensed Clinical Social Worker Central Counseling Services and a grief expert, explained the Costs of Death in the following way:
“I’m a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, a grief expert, have 2 books on Amazon on grief, and have been widowed twice. My career included more than a decade in hospice.”
“The emotional costs involved in death are so broad. Prior losses come back up. Well meaning friends and professionals will say things that are hurtful and stick. (I had a minister tell me my second loss of my spouse should not hurt as much because we were not married as long.). Friends may fall away: they may not be comfortable with death, or disagree with someone’s grief process, or they may simply not realize that grievers need to hear from friends more after the service than before.
Professional providers not in the funeral industry may not be good at loss. Many therapists are not trained in grief. Some clergy really are not comfortable either. For someone who is grieving simply waking up in the morning is like having their loved one die all over again. They have to remember that each morning, and every time they pick up the phone and remember they can’t call them.”
“The physical costs in death are exhaustion, loss of cognitive skills and speed, lower frustration tolerance, insomnia (especially at 2am), loss of appetite combined with carb craving, and illness. If the death involved a long illness, caregivers frequently get sick, and have a much higher risk of death as they ignore there own medical needs. Driving is often not a great idea initially because response times and concentration are affected. Most people are totally unprepared for grief being physical.”
“Financial costs? The illness, if there was one, could include unpaid time from work, huge co-pays, deductibles, help in the home. Afterward, there are obituaries to pay for, cremation or burial, viewing and embalming (or not), opening graves, headstones, urns, etc. People with premium need plans may not tell the family that the opening and closing is always extra. Receptions, flying in family, meals out. It adds up. Then there may be loss of income if they did not understand the benefits they were counting on.”
“I was fortunate. As a worker in hospice I knew what to expect. I used a family owned mortuary, not a corporate one. I made plans early, with my spouses. We were reasonable. I was able to add the personal touches I wanted- Hawaiian flowers, a luau at home, a shave ice vendor. I’d costed it out, and was able to celebrate them as I wanted. Pretty need takes the emotion out, and allows the lived one to have some say in their service. It works.”
The Elephas Group is a family-owned business that has been providing Funeral Planning advice and helping families deal with their times of loss for years. We are the premier provider of personalized funeral plans in Canada, proudly offering a Final Needs Planning Program, a Travel Protection Plan, Final Documents Service, Monument Services and a Supplemental Health Benefit Pharmacard.
Contact The Elephas Group for a free consultation from a Final Needs Planning expert today. We’ll work with you and your family to build an insurance plan best for your needs. For more questions about Final Needs Planning Program™ visit our website or contact one of our consultants at 1-800-661-8908.
Jarrett Goldman, CPC